You Can’t Learn Divorce from a Book

I know that’s a strange statement coming from someone who wrote one, so let me explain.

My sister once tried to describe Excel pivot tables to me.   She was so excited about what they could do.  It wasn’t until I built one myself that I finally understood them. 

Divorce can be like that, only the stakes and emotions are much higher. Books, articles, and other people’s stories can help you prepare for a divorce but reading and hearing about experiences are not the same as living them. 

People told me that it wouldn’t be over quickly.  They were right.

People told me to get my finances in order.   They were right.

People told me divorce would be painful.  They were right. 

I read and heard all these warnings and researched the process, but one step at a time was the only way to get through it. As much as I wanted to close my eyes and wake up on the other side, there was no shortcut. I had to walk through every emotion, every setback, and eventually, every victory myself. 

Hit by a Truck can help soften the learning curve with tips, examples, and stories, but it cannot live it for you.  In the end, it’s the living that teaches us. 

Bon Courage.  You can do this.

Claire

We do not have to become heroes overnight. Just a step at a time, meeting each thing that comes up, seeing it is not as dreadful as it appeared, discovering we have the strength to stare it down.

— Eleanor Roosevelt